I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He has the fingertips of a God
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