haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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