thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
