You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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