He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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