talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just threw up on my dentist
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
