So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
