Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The air was thick with penises
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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