In the future we'll all be gay
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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