Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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