thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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