u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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