Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
