Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
