Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
