I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
