whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
