I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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