We're facebook friends in real life
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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