she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There r osticjed everywhere
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize