I hate your face
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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