I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
