Don't you send me to vm
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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