Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't want my vagina anymore.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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