I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
