It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
