I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
