Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
