stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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