It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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