He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Help. Why am I so naked?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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