Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
