I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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