With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
