How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
