Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
