my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
