i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
