Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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