I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
