Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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