I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
