After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
