I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Rumble strips road head = magical
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
