"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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