I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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