Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
