I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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