i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
