its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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