I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
