i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
sarcasm needs its own font
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
