think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
